When you look at the world how exactly do you feel? Does it make you want to dive under the covers and never come out? What if life makes you want to jump in the air and thank who ever that you were blessed with such a great life? But what if your life was neither of these options? What if it makes you want to hurt yourself? Kill yourself? Welcome to my life. Selene Jectan is my name. I’ve never had a good life. My father was an abusive alcoholic and my mother was just a crybaby who did what ever her husband said so she wouldn’t get hit again. Everything was fine in my house until I was 5 when my mother found out my dad lost his job because he was having an affair with his boss’s wife.
That’s when the alcohol came into play for my father and that’s when his temper came out of the closet. Everyday after pre-school if I had done something bad I would go to my dad’s study and tell him what had happen and my punishment would take place. My injuries would be serious but not bad enough to go to the hospital so they were always a secret. My mother committed suicide when I started first grade so it was just my father and I. We had to move out of our house into an apartment because our only source of income was my mother’s family but they tore themselves away from us as soon as my mother passed. Our apartment was one room, which was my fathers, and I had a closet. I had a seat cushion as a pillow and a washcloth for a blanket. First grade through fifth grade was no bad because my father had his alcohol to keep him happy but when that ran out he got angry and would beat me.
In sixth grade I had to start wearing long sleeves and pants every day so they wouldn’t see the bruises and cuts he had delivered on my body. But I also punished my self for not fighting back.